How (not?) to Find a Travel Partner

After my wonderful test pilot trip to Mexico, I decided that one major thing I was lacking was a travel partner with whom I could share all the wonderful scenery and to make the overall experience more fun, like when I was traveling through Bulgaria and Europe with a previous girlfriend of mine. After all, it is so much easier to meet people when you have a nice female with you.
A rather nice and innocent intention I thought, but rather naive, I guess.
Perhaps a sleazy approach, but when I used to hire the occasional secretary, beautiful girls would come to ME for an interview. Since my business was going rather well at the time and I needed help anyway setting all this up, and since I figured a travel companion would want some means how to pay their way, it seemed a perfect solution to put an ad in the local classified ads, roll up my sleeves and go through a long, drawn out, but not painful interview process. At least so I thought.
But to be fair, I would hint what I was looking for in my ad: "Seeking assistant with computer skills and basic knowledge of English. In the not so distant future I plan to move the office into a caravan and travel around Europe and the world." "Er, so, I'm supposed to stay behind in Prague and manage your business while you travel around the world?" asked many of the interviewees, when we met in a restaurant during when I'd have my dinner (gotta be efficient ya know). A lot of them had an idea what I was after, and maybe just showed up to see what kind of a kook I was. Others didn't show up at all, perhaps after they received an sms text message from me to meet in such and such a bar and that they will recognise me because I'm probably the only person in Prague wearing shorts, sandals and no socks in during the dead of winter, signing myself "Karel Karavan Kanadian" (they don't use C's in Czech, or it sounds like ts and is used for different words).
Other times the girls would be a bit reassuring, saying, "Really, I wouldn't say it is such a preposterously hopeless suggestion, as you just mentioned, it's just I'd rather get to know someone a bit longer before crawling into a truck with them."
And 98% of the time I basically decided within the first half second I wasn't interested, but for politeness I'd go through the interview process, listening to myself repeat myself with my ridiculous proposal, watching their expected expression of disbelief in a rather awkward and somewhat embarrassing atmosphere.
Well, after trying out that approach for several months, screening girls over the phone by the tone of their voice, I decided it was not the method I wanted to pursue anymore. Although my first interviewee was the best of all and we are still friends now. But she was a typical Moravian who hates the smugness and pretentiousness of Prague people, didn't want to stay in Prague anymore, didn't like the computer work I offered, and scoffed at the idea that she would actually have to work to come along with me.

So then I turned to various dating websites, approached girls with my standard copy/paste and weblink approach, "You like traveling? Check this link out..". Unfortunately, it took me a while to figure out that I was actually addressing them as a male, considering my Czech isn't the most perfect. Which invoked many angry responses. And how does one start a conversation over the internet anyway? Or why would an attractive, intelligent and fun bohemian type girl interested in working in front of the computer be putting ads up on such a website anyway? So I abandoned that approach after several months as well.

Well, I'm pretty picky I admit, but I'm also shy when it comes to approaching girls I don't know in a bar. Seizing up like a block of ice and intimidated when I see a girl I like. So that approach was basically out of the question.

Finally, out of desperation, and since I would be driving east anyway, thought I'd approach some less economically affluent countries where the girls might be more willing to break out of their bondage to poverty and weltering doldrums of their dull village life. They looked pretty enough on the internet, although it later occurred to me that it would probably be a problem dragging a Ukrainian or Russian girl across various European borders and that I might be quickly railroaded into doing horrid something like marriage!
Nevertheless, I like communicating with attractive girls, even if nothing will come out of it.
And hence, the theme of this page...

My Conversation With a Russian Program

It took me a while to figure out that I must be talking to a program. I even extensively studied the matter through the warnings on one of these websites. Russian girls who might be living in some dull Russian village but certainly not interested in uprooting from their family, as Russians tend to be rather conservative, to jump on a plane to go marry some horned up middle aged balding man in the US who can't score in his own culture. But they could send lots of sweat pictures and words of love, and give the impression they really want to go to the US, and have even sold their grandmother's family earrings to pay for a plane, but are just a liiiiiittle bit short of cash and need help with the rest. And while they were on their way to the airport with the money you just sent them, they got robbed and need some more, and then realised that they have to pay for a tourist visa, which they didn't even know about... Well, you get the picture.
Or perhaps they really genuinely were looking for someone in the west, perhaps 10 years ago. Now they are happily married and the agency translating for them at the time continues to use their pictures and love letters. Or you are talking to some Russian script program that automatically sends you responses, putting your name in key spots, with occasional meddling by a human. Probably a guy for all I know. So I am copying correspondence I had with two girls, filtered down to make it not so drawn out...

[I don't have a copy of my outgoing emails, but I remember something like this]  Well Yulia, you certainly are pretty, but can't you find a nice Russian boy in Moscow, one of the most expensive cities in the world? Love your pictures though!

Thanks for the nice pictures, always appreciate getting them. But you didn't really answer my previous question. You know, I've read about these Russian scams where they try to get money out of you and I can assure you I would never send money deep into Russia like that. Nevertheless, it is nice chatting with you, and it would be nice if you'd respond back to me in a way that I know I am talking with someone and not get these copied emails.

Hello Karel. Thanks for your letter. Really my english is not very ideal. I was honours pupil at school. And I finished school for golden medal. I learnt English at school. ... When I write you letters on English I can to be concentrative and I can recall every word and set them correctly. But when I'm speaking I can't do it very well. I never have practice of personal contact. ... How I already told you I had born in Safonovo. It is placed in 1500 kilometers from Moscow. Safonovo is town with 72000 inhabitants. My mother is 53 years old. Her name is Avgustina. .. They had born in Safonoovo. And my parents consider this place is the best on the world. I'm not only child in our family. I have oldest sister called Veronika. .. My family is very good. And I left my home very hard and difficult when I was 17 years old. I studied at school number 7 of Safonovo town. I'm remembering this time very good. I wanted to be adult and started independent life. But now I understand that school's years are the happiest years in my life… We always were together with my sister Veronika. We were the best friends. And told everything to each other, we hadn't secrets. .. We have been living in one room of The Moscow State University's hostel for 5 years. It was very cheerful years. ..  Do you know The Moscow State University is the most celebrated university in Russia? I'm sending you his photo. I think you'll know this building without fail. Let's image you on my place. 17 years old girl arrived to Moscow and started to go this huge building. It is wonderful impressions. I felt clearly that I'm becoming adult. We learnt in enormous auditoriums. And we were learnt by famous, well-known teachers. I'm happy that I learnt at this university. And I am not feeling sorry that I left Safonovo. I can tell very interesting stories from my student life. If it is interesting for you, I'll tell you without fail. Now my friend Elena is living in Moscow, and Tatyana left from Russia. I wrote you about my past completely not much, but these happy recollections were enough for raise my mood!! Bye Karel, I will wait for your answer and then I will write you. Good luck Karel! Your Yuliya

Thanks again for your email, but again it seems you are not really addressing me. Besides, I want to travel around Europe and I'm not really interested in settling down, and I think it would be difficult for a Russian girl to cross all these borders. But I enjoy your letters!

Hi Karel. Now I'm on the work and I can write letter for you. I work on the 12th floor of building with 20 levels. I work in design section. We are four in one room. Do you remember I tell you that I really like my job? Our company is very good. Everybody has a computer. I know computer sufficiently good. Many of my projects are made on computer. Unfortunately my computer isn't connected to Internet. I need to write letters and copy them on floppy drive. Then I need to go in other room, where I can send letters for you. My English is not very ideal. I have friend on my work. She knows English not bad. She helps me to write letters. My English becomes bad without her help. Some day I'll write letter without her help. I think you'll laugh on me. =) I would like to know your opinion about my English. Now I'm engaged in the interior of flat with 78 meters square.

Some day I'll send you the photos of flats, which was put into shape by me. I think you'll like them. I live with my friend, who, by the way, works with me in one room. Now she with me! She sends greetings to you!!! We live in not big but very comfortable flat. My life is very interesting and happy. And I can tell that I never feel sorry. Why I need to feel sorry about things which I already done? I'm optimist. And I want to take from life everything what I need and want…Of course I can't permit me everything what I want. But I exactly know that money is not the most important thing in the life. I live in the beautiful city Moscow. Moscow is considered one of the most expensive cities of Europe. There is very expensive immovable. .. Yes. But I've been there only by passage when I came back from Safonovo. Train from Safonovo to Moscow goes for 3 days, and I need to travel with transplantations. Other cities of my native land seem calm and still. But Moscow is not the same. Here is everything flies, makes a noise and turns up in drive. Moscow is really Mega polis. More over I've been to the culturing capital St. Petersburg. It is completely other city. Have you ever heard about Ermitage. Ermitage is enormous museum. To look all the exhibits in Ermitage spending one minute for one exhibit you need 100 years!!! Karel, what can you tell me about your life? Is your life happy and interesting? I have been finishing my letter. With the best regards yours Yuliya.

Cool, you look in great shape. But I still feel like I am talking to a program or something...

[Subject of email: "Only for you Karel"] Hello Karel. Hurrah! I did my work. I finished putting into shape the next in turn flat. It's so grate. When you finished your work to the end and your clients like your work you experience shocking feelings. I promise to send you the pictures of flats. The summer is very a pity that so warm weather has quickly ended and terminated.

It is very a pity to me because I very much like to go in the summer on a beach and To bathe. I admire to bask in the sun on the beach!!! I don't think the water is so warm already. I summer I go more often to bathe on a beach. Now I well swim, I have learned to float in 18 years. The matter is that Safonovo is in the north of Russia and there practically always cold weather. I bathed very seldom till 17 years. After I have arrived to Moscow I began to go to swimming pool. And now I swim well later more than 10 years =). I was engaged in navigation only 5 years while I studied in institute. Then I didn't have enough time for it. Now I am engaged in fitness. I go to a sports hall 3 or 4 times a week. It helps me to relax after the working day. Now a lot of people work at office all the day and go to a sports hall in the evening after work. I go to a sports hall with my girlfriends who are working with me. As I already spoke we are very amicable collective on work. And are you frequently go in for sports? Also I am engaged in drawing. I'm professional designer and I should draw much. Today I have made a few pictures and beautifully have issued them for you. I hope my work is pleasant to you. Sometimes I do my work at home. I actually draw much. I should make sketches of ideas which come to my mind. The designer is creative work which occupies a lot of time. But it is pleasant to me and consequently I am happy to be engaged in this business. Good luck Karel. Take care!

Well, you certainly look like a nice interesting girl, but I can't imagine why you'd be writing like this to me. Especially since you aren't really responding to my emails.

Well, I could consider Skyping you, but that would be difficult since I'm traveling and don't get to an internet cafe too often. And when I do, I got lots of work. But I certainly wouldn't call some 900 Russian number, no siree. Ever heard of Skype? I might consider that. But please address me so that I know I am not talking to a computer.

Hello my dear Karel How are you? I’m Ok. Yesterday I had a very good day. Yesterday I worked on an apartment all the evening long. I have had time to be tidied up in at home. I have cooked a pie and much a lot of tasty. I like sweet and consequently I know many recipes of tasty dishes. And what’s your favorite food?

Now cleanliness and the order are in my flat. =) Now will the turn of my girlfriend to cleaned and prepare to eat at home. We have divided these duties. By the way my girlfriend communicates with the guy from other country too. He lives in Italy. They know each other a little bit more than ours. But my girlfriend as well as me was grasped with this dialogue. She seems has grown fond it Italian. She speaks that he is a nice guy. I like you very much too and also I want to ask you to be fair and sincere with me. You seem very good man in your letters. But there are no ideal people! I hope you speak the truth about yourself. Please don’t disappoint me. You seem to me the cheerful person with whom is interestingly to spend time. I hope that I am attractive and interesting to you too. We are so far apart but you is always with me in my mind. And it seems to me that you somewhere near of me. I till now can’t reconcile that I didn’t see you in person and didn’t hear really from you. You already like me but nevertheless keep an atmosphere of mystery. It’s very interesting! Your girl Yuliya.

Well, sorry but I still am not convinced. But it occurred to me a few days that we can resolve this once and for all: since you have such a ready access to a digital camera, how about you draw on a piece of paper the word KENAX, hold that in your left hand, then raise your right hand, holding up THREE fingers, and tilt your head a bit to the right, and give me one of your cute smiles? :o)

____________________

Okay, but that letter was after the one below, when I reaaaally started to suspect something fishy in the air. But I must say she got my hopes up a bit, stupid male that I am! (there were a bunch of other pretty girls but these two were my favourite.

Hello, my dear Karel! Thank you so much for your response. I am very glad to get your message. Hope, next time your message will be more profound as I really want to know you better:-) I want very much to get to know you and for you to know me. It is difficult to try to explain everything about myself in an email but every journey must begin with a first step. So, as you already know, my name is Tatyana. I was born November,21, 1979, so now I am 26.

Even being so young, I dream to have happy and strong family. I think I am very intelligent but not very social. But I dream of meeting the special man who I can love and adore and cherish with whom I could live and love till I die. I live with my mother. She is very kind and open person, and besides she is the best in the world housewife. Unfortunately my father died three years ago from heart disease. Now, I should help my mother to keep house and earn for our living. I graduated the college (1998)having the profession of hairdresser. What do I like to do? I love to go to discos and dance and have fun. I also like to read, watch movies, go to restaurants, but my real passion is travel and meeting people from all over the world. Unfortunately I have never been abroad. I am looking for a cherish relationship with a beautiful, intelligent, caring, sensitive, sensual, sexy, kind man - someone like yourself. I wasn't fortunate to meet someone like that until now. I long for someone to share my happiness and success with, someone to talk to, make love to, someone to travel the world with and experience what all life has to offer. Maybe in my life I have been unlucky with finding the right soulmate, but I believe that in life everything happens for a reason - maybe relationships in the past have not succeeded because they were just not meant to be - maybe my destiny is to find someone over the Internet? Maybe with you? who knows, only time will tell. I like to think, depends on my mood. I also love to do things. I am active, sportive, creative, sensual, kind, generous, intelligent and handsome....you must be thinking....how can I be alone? I think its because I seek the perfect person to share my future with. I guess I've said a lot and I hope you understand the kind of person that I am. I know that it seems like a resume but I feel its the best way to tell you about who I am. What do you think? Did I forget anything? Just ask and I will tell you all. Now, I have to close my letter and waiting for your answer. Tanya.

 (picture named "Loving smile")

Thanks for your nice letter Tanya. But I must admit, I'm not really interested in settling down like that and don't think I would be the right guy for you. I want to travel around Europe in a truck.... But your pictures are great and I very much appreciate receiving them!

Hello my dear Karel ! Today when I was checking my mail and was sure that I'll find there your letter. Karel, thanks for telling me more about yourself, I really like your personality. I think that I start to feel you. I am so happy to know that you choose me! I really hope that we will be together. I want to be the raindrop to touch your face. I need you like desert needs rain, like flower - air and sun. I want you not to be player I want everything to be real! My aim is to understand what love is and means. You know I loved ones I felt that I live but not exist but that was my mistake because my heart was broken. I don't want to tell about it because it is not an easy for me. The only thing that I want to say is that my heart will not stand one more time. Please don't hurt it! Do you still want to know more about me? I don't smoke, don't drink alcohols and I hope my husband will not too but even if he does it should not be his everyday habit. I have a lot of friends I like to visit them and when they come to my house. My favorite actor is Bred Pitt and Bruce Willis. I like comedies because I like to smile. I like to listen to listen to Sting and our Ukrainian singer I don't think that they are popular in your country.
	I hope to find a man who will be my support through the whole life. Kind man with a great heart. I want to enjoy each minute that I'll be with him. The only thing I want form him is love. You know it is very important to know that there is a person in the world who loves you, not your parents or your friends but a man who will share all your life. With whom you'll seat in the evening, looking at each other eyes drinking wine and I'll be happy! I want to trust to my man, I want him to be confident and sincere. How do you think can it be you? There is one more thing I want to tell you about myself. I can speak just Russian and Ukrainian. So to communicate with you I use service for translation and also they provide me with Internet. But you don't have to be disguise in your feelings because other way we will not know what we feel to each other. I want honesty in our letters! I don't want you to be embarrassed by this. I hope to learn even some English before you'll come here to meet each other. By the way, I want to add that one of my best friends found her mate with the help of this very translational firm. She lives now abroad and very happy. I dream about the day when the same will happen with me. I think my letter is pretty long and I want to ask you how do you see me in your life? Please be sincere. Hope to hear from you soon! Kisses and hugs from Tanya! (pictures named "Red dress" and "bikini")

Wow, you really are beautiful, but I cannot imagine how such a beautiful girl would be talking to me. Lliving in a truck and all. And that picture in the red dress, looks like a palm tree in the background, no?. You do some traveling? Never heard of palm trees in Russia. You must be fairly well off, no? But your pictures are certainly great!
Oh, by the way, I've read about these Russian scam things where they try to get money out of you in different ways. I'd like to assure you that I'd never send money like this to Russia. But I do enjoy receiving your letters!

My sweet Karel ! I was waiting for your reply like a flower waits for the sun in cloudy days. To be honest I was really glad to see your letter it is like waiting when someone will determine your destiny. But now I'm sure that it is really you! Karel, and it is really me on that photos!!! For such short period of time you become the most important person in my life. I don't want to tell you how I need you, how I wait for you every day and especially every night because you know it by yourself.

Better I'll tell you how I like you and what we'll do when you come here. I was waiting for this so long! I'll meet you with tears on my eyes, with love in my heart. You'll hug me, kiss me, tell me that you was waiting for me all your life, you was thinking about your sweet little kitty every second. I will not let you to say anything else and I'll cover your lips with the sweetest kiss in the world. We look at each other eyes and there is such feeling that we soaring to the snow-white clouds. Than we'll come back to reality after that wonderful moment, go for a walk it doesn't matter where, the only important thing is that we are together, we keep each other hands, and we kiss and smile to each other! Finally our hearts will stop suffering from being lonely; you will never let me go. And our souls will become one real, big, strong and passion love. Will you help me to make my dream come true? For me important thing is trust, the most important but love without any reasons, just real love. I hate when someone lies me calling this honest lie when they say just part of the story, it is the most awful thing for me. Every lie soon or late will be find out. I like you, I trust you. I don't want you to disappoint me. I always think about you. You are the gift of a destiny for me I never dream about. I'm really lucky person. I'll be waiting for you reply hope it will not take too long. Kiss you! Tanya. (Picture named "Hot body")

Wow, what a passionate and great letter, and thank you again for the beautiful picture, but I really cannot believe that a girl such as beautiful as you would write to me like this. It would be great, I'm sure, but I don't even know if I'd want to go to Russia. Kind of scary, driving there with my truck and all. But thanks for the great pics!

[Didn't save the last letter, so something from memory]  Dear Karel, this is Igor from translation Igor International and Tanya's credit has run out and she is requesting if you could send her some money to continue you communications. She is a poor girl from a small village... Dude, get a real job will ya? I own a translation agency and these cheesey approaches are rather pathetic... Dear Karel, this is not a scam but a serious translation agency....   Well, think I'll just totally give up and not even try anymore. Maybe something will land in my lap like it usually does, without even trying. Get the occasional look from locals, and lots of nice girls everywhere I go. Too bad I'm so pathetically shy, now hampered further because I can't speak the local language. But that is just another excuse... (picture named "bikini")

I'll finish this page off with one of the last emails from one Russian girl from the Tartar region and with whom I was communicating for quite a long time. I was just being friendly and perhaps helping her with her English. Wasn't really impressed with her pictures and told her I wasn't interested in anything past friendship, but found her letters rather entertaining, and her pictures how she would be lying in bed, or faithfully pouring coffee while in the kitchen. Somehow none of her poses as a faithful wife enticed me enough to send a blank cheque for a greyhound from deep within Russia, but it was an interesting exchange nevertheless.

(picture named "stripping" - still the previous girl)

Hello my dear Karel. I have decided to write to you one more letter as I express the big feelings to you. I always present you, i think of you. What now you do? Whether than you are engaged also all perfectly at you? I hope, that to you are interesting my letters. In them I express feelings and ideas, which beginnings to test last days. I do not understand, that with by me it is created, probably it is love. What fine word "love". That pulls you to other person, sweeping away on the way all barrier. That with her do not do, and she always exists in your heart. She may hide from our reason in such depths human soul, that about her hidden presence the reason does not guess at all. You agree with me? Sometimes she is hard for experiencing, sometimes joyfully. Sometimes she are tears, at times - a smile. Love - natural Condition oppress. Oppress for some reason does not want and may not live in loneliness, she aspires to loneliness together. To feel itself as unique essences on whole light what may be more fine? The person aspires to the person. It is fine and impossible to estimate all charm of this feeling, feeling of "Love". Two persons loving each other Feel also enjoy this maximum gift sent to all people from heavens. Up to time up to time we do not know him. Our time yet will not come to like and be loved. We shall catch a sight the friend the friend. Light which has flashed in shares of second in our eyes will be swept up only to us, he will begin to sparkle penetrate in our souls and hearts, penetrating bodies, forcing one instant to stop, stiffen, become eternity for two Two souls will dip each other into the sea of pleasure, in lake of love, the river of eternity, OCEAN OF LOVE on which they will be to be floating and after life, through centuries, finding the embodiment in other lifes, other cultures, in other bodies, divided cold spaces, which kilometers will rise for their way to be pass, divided customs,traditions and the social installations prospering in a society.

Created by art not that can not prevent magics of love. The source, beating a key in soul is primary and eternal. he will wait always for the hour. I of you always shall be to wait. I hope, that you feel too most, that I feel. My ideas always only about you. Now I precisely can tell, that I I love you and want to be with you. On it I want finish to you this letter and I shall wait from you for the answer.

With love Yulia.

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